Chapter Nine

Bright, fluorescent yellow lights and Alec groaned — he knew exactly where he was and he was getting really tired of waking up in the Infirmary with no knowledge of how and why he came to be there. He heard the steady beep, beep, beep of a heart monitor and a change in pressure at his side told him that he wasn’t alone. He turned his head, expecting to see Jace or Isabelle, and was shocked to find Catarina, clearly in pajamas, with a steaming mug of coffee in her hand. “I should kill you myself for what you did out there after we all told you not to,” she said, her voice sharp even though her eyes showed none of her anger. “But you brought him back to us and for that, I cannot repay you.”

 

“Magnus,” he asked, his throat dry and scratchy from the medication they were no doubt pumping through his body right now. “Is he…?”

 

“He’s alright,” Catarina replied though her face twisted into the smallest frown. “Mostly okay. Physically, he’s fine from what we can tell but he refuses to shift back so the Institute doctors haven’t been able to take a look at him. None of us smell blood, however, and I’ve run my hands over him and I don’t think anything is majorly broken. Still though, until he’s human again, we won’t know for sure.”

 

Magnus was refusing to shift back? Why? What had happened to him after Alec had lost consciousness? “How long?” He asked, before a cough caught in his throat and he found himself unable to stop. Catarina held a water bottle with a straw to his lips and he took a few small drinks, just enough to ease the tingle in his throat. “How long?” He asked, still trying to put together the puzzle pieces in his head. “How long have I…”

 

“It’s been three days,” she answered, knowing where his line of questioning was going. “This wasn’t like the gunshot wound, Alec. You’ve been in a medically induced coma for two of them. The surgeries were extensive. There were times when they weren’t sure that you were going to make it. You were impaled — do you realize how serious that is?”

 

“I want to see Magnus,” he said with a groan, trying to push himself into a more upright position.

 

“Nope,” Catarina said, reaching across him and keeping a firm but gentle hand on his shoulder. “You stay down. We’re not going to risk you undoing all the hard work the doctors have spent night and day on since we caught up with you at the farm. Magnus is fine, I told you. He’s alive and breathing but they won’t let him in here in his wolf form — too much fur and too many sensitive instruments. I promise we’ll bring him by as soon as he decides to shift back and is much more human.”

 

Alec wasn’t satisfied with that answer but he knew he needed to pick and choose his battles if he wanted to be out of here sooner rather than later. “Jace? Izzy?” He asked instead, slightly surprised that at least one of his siblings wasn’t by his bedside. 

 

The werewolf snorted softly. “Well, since our two brave heroes were both rather incapacitated, they’ve been giving a majority of the press conferences — along with Aline and Jia. They’ve been kept rather busy over the past few days but any minute they’re not on screen, they’re in here with you, waiting for their big brother to wake up. When they can’t be here, the pack has been taking turns. We know Magnus wouldn’t want you to be alone, even if he can’t say it himself.” The corner of her mouth ticked up in a semblance of a smile. “You’re lucky. If you’d woken up half an hour earlier, you would have had Raphael here.”

 

He much preferred Catarina here. Nothing against Raphael, but he couldn’t see the other wolf having the same bedside manner. “No one should let Jace in front of a camera.”

 

“So your sister said but thus far it hasn’t been too bad. I think they’re managing to keep him mostly in line.”

 

“What else? Valentine — is he…?”

 

“Dead, thanks to Magnus,” she replied though there was something about the tone of her voice that had Alec slightly concerned. “And the demon never made it past the summoning circle. You two, by the stroke of some miracle, managed to save the world.”

 

He breathed a sigh of relief but instantly narrowed his eyes as a mischievous grin spread across Catarina’s face. “Now, I’m going to read you a list of each and every injury you accrued due to your stupidity, and you’re going to sit there and listen so you realize how badly broken you were and how important it is for you to lay here, behave, and heal.”

 

Alec couldn’t help but groan. It was going to be a long day.

 

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It was the world’s longest week and a half before the doctors determined him well enough to return home to his Loft provided he took at least two months off of work and didn’t decide to pick up any extreme sports as hobbies in the meantime. Dr. Mulder had been the angriest he’d ever seen the old woman — insisting that she didn’t want him to do anything more strenuous than changing the channel on the remote and cooking a bag of microwavable popcorn. She was quick to point out that if she even heard the slightest rumor of him stepping even a toe out of line, she’d hunt him down herself and he’d have to answer to her. He really didn’t want to take a chance — if anyone’s threats scared him, it was hers.

 

He still hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Magnus despite asking after him every day but he was assured time and time again that his partner was as well as he could be and that he could see him as soon as Alec was released or Magnus decided to make himself more human. When Alec’s discharge day finally arrived, he found himself an anxious ball of nerves. He needed to get out of this room before he lost what was left of his sanity and he needed to see Magnus. Their forced separation had been far too much than Alec could handle. 

 

It was strange how Magnus had worked himself into Alec’s life in such a way it seemed like he had always been there. Alec was disgusted with himself over his reaction when Hodge had first announced that he was partnering the two together and if it was possible for him to go back in time and shake some damn sense into his past self, he gladly would. This assignment was supposed to be a temporary one, Alec knew that, but he now knew that he and Magnus made an incredible team and he was prepared to fight whoever stood in his way to make sure they could continue working together as long as they were able. 

 

He’d just finished getting dressed (thankfully, his sister had swung by his place when he was first able to move around some.) They’d kept him for far longer than he felt was necessary (probably, if he were honest, because of how quickly he’d jumped right back into work after the last time he’d been sent to the infirmary) but he’d finally been given the (mostly) clean bill of acceptable health and told to take his medical leave. He was dressed in a worn sweater and an old pair of jeans and he was trying to tie his shoes and not get too frustrated with his lack of mobility when a knock sounded from the door. “Come in!” 

 

His siblings wouldn’t knock and any of the pack had thrown any hang-ups about what was and was not appropriate out of the window early on. They were part of his family now in a weird sort of way and if they decided to come and go the same way his siblings did, who was Alec to stop him? He glanced up just in time to see Jia step into the room and he couldn’t help but stand a little straighter. “Ma’am.”

 

It wasn’t the first time Jia had visited him since he’d regained consciousness but her previous visits had all been brief and mostly to check on his continued survival. This time, however, he could tell there was something different about her visit. She held two thick manilla file folders in one hand and tapped their spines against the palm of her other. “Mr. Lightwood, it is good to see you on your feet once more. You gave all of us quite the scare.”

 

Alec ducked his head. “That was not my intention. The situation wasn’t ideal — between the storm and the remote area and the signal was spotty. Magnus and I made the decision to continue on. Valentine was too dangerous to not make an attempt then and there to stop him. We were both aware of the risks to ourselves but when we signed up with the Institute, it was with the intention to put our lives on the line for the greater good. That’s what we did that night though you are well within your right to punish us for being reckless if you so choose.”

 

“No, I’m sure you’ve had more than enough lectures from your friends and family,” she replied with an amused glint in her eye. “I won’t bore you with another one because I’m sure if you found yourself in another similar situation, you would still do the same thing, would you not?”

 

Alec dipped his head — he certainly wasn’t going to argue when she had him pegged to a tee. “Instead, I want to commend you for your work in bringing down Valentine and his plan to unleash a demon, though it has changed the future of the world as we know it. We certainly couldn’t have put any better agents on the case. I knew I made the right call when I told Hodge that it was your time to shine. I think the work that you did deserves acknowledgment and in lieu of your former boss’ betrayal and untimely death, I think it’s only fair to offer you his recently vacant position,” she explained, handing him one of the two folders in her hand. “This would be quite the promotion, Mr. Lightwood, and definitely an advancement in your career. I can see many more doors opening for you in the future if you take this offer. That folder has the new job description, salary, and contract. I implore you to give it a read. I won’t expect an answer immediately. Take a week, and think it over. You did just recover from a near-death experience, the very least I can give you is time.”

 

Six months ago, Alec would have given anything and everything to have this opportunity. This was everything he’d ever wanted out of his career at the Institute. He’d wanted to prove that he was the best, that he could make a difference in the world. Now, he was being handed that chance on a silver platter and he knew that he should be absolutely ecstatic that Jia thought he was worth such an honor…but he wasn’t. 

 

Alec knew that he was being handed this opportunity because he was the human partner on the team. However, Magnus had been out there in the trenches with him. It was Magnus who gave them their first real leads. If anyone deserved the promotion, it was him…and Alec would not accept a position when he felt there was someone just as, if not more, qualified than he was. At the very least, Magnus also deserved the acknowledgment of a job well done. 

 

“Ma’am, as…thrilled and honored I am at your offer, I can’t accept this position. I wasn’t the only one out there working to bring Valentine in and, if I’m honest, I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere without Magnus. He’s the real winner here. He figured out what was really going on. He connected the dots between Hodge’s involvement and Valentine. If anyone deserves this opportunity, it’s him. He’s no less qualified for the position simply because he’s a wolf.”

 

“I see,” Jia said slowly, though there was something about her voice that told Alec that she wasn’t as upset as he expected her to be.  “Well, in that case, I guess it’s a good thing I’ve got this,” she said, handing Alec the second folder. “While it is a bit unorthodox for me to deliver this paperwork to you, Luke told me that given the situation, it was probably for the best. It seems Luke has decided to retire in light of the recent situation. It’s a tough situation for his wife and he’d like to spend some more time with her. It’s well deserved — he’s served us admirably for many years. He’s suggested Magnus fill his shoes when he’s gone and I’m of the opinion that it’s a rather good fit. That would put the two of you in much of the same position — one more in line with the human agents, one for the wolves, but both working to bring them together. How does that sound?”

 

Alec blinked, whatever he had expected her to say, it hadn’t been that. He’d been prepared to argue that Magnus should at least have a shot at the job that she was offering him and instead…she’d come with one for Alec’s partner as well. He opened his mouth to speak and closed it a few times before he finally found the words. “That is…does the pack know? That’s a big change for them, he’s their Alpha.”

 

The smile she gave him suggested that she and Luke had talked about this at length. “Luke is aware but I’m told that he can still remain their Alpha in outside affairs and that Magnus would simply handle anything related to the Institute. He tells me there are more members of their pack than those we employ and that he’s been away from them for far too long. With the new rules and regulations we’re working on, it should be easier for the wolves here at the Institute to have more normal lives. He hasn’t spoken to them about it yet, I believe he wanted to speak with Magnus first but it seems your partner has a lot on his mind currently.”

 

Everything she was telling him was just so much to process and Alec’s mind was spinning faster than a Gravitron ride at the carnival. “Wait, hold on… new rules and regulations? Are you sure I was only unconscious for three days?”

 

Jia smiled at him. “I work fast, Mr. Lightwood, especially when those standing in my way are no longer around or are too preoccupied with the recent news of demons and the death of a serial killer to stop me. Luke’s been a great help reviewing all the regulations we currently have written regarding our werewolf agents and there are changes coming once we have all the documentation finalized, I assure you. I will, however, give you a sneak peek, if you will. Luke believes that a change of scenery may help Magnus recover from everything with Valentine. I hear he has taken shelter in your apartment before. Maybe some time away from here and somewhere that feels a little bit more like home will do him wonders. I’ve already called down to the front gate to let them know to expect you. No one will stop you and if they do, they’ll have me to answer to.”

 

The spinning in his mind came to a sudden and abrupt stop when he realized that she, with Luke’s permission, of course, was asking Alec to bring Magnus home. Not only that, she was telling him that, in not so many words, he didn’t need to ask for her permission for Magnus to leave because not only was she giving it without him saying anything, but Magnus, and the rest of the Institute’s pack, would soon no longer need it anyway.

 

“Same scenario as your own folder. Take some time, I’ll give you a little bit longer given the situation, and have him review it. The two of you can talk about it but I’d like an answer from you as soon as you're able to give it. I trust the two of you will help usher the Institute into the future so that we may better face whatever it is that is yet to come,” Jia said, giving him a final nod before leaving his hospital room once more.

 

Alec stood stunned for a moment, slightly convinced that his mind was making the entire situation up. After a moment, a grin spread across his face as he realized the gift that he’d been given. He tucked both folders in his duffle bag, slung it across his shoulder, and made his way through the halls down the now familiar path to the Den to find Magnus. He wasn’t sure why the world was choosing now to give him everything he ever wanted but if anyone deserved a little bit of good luck, it was his partner.

 

Alec knocked on the door that led to the common room of the Den and waited until a voice inside gave him permission to enter before he twisted the knob and let himself inside. 

 

Raphael and Catarina were standing in the kitchen, the latter holding a steaming mug of coffee and both talking in hushed whispers. Cat gave him a sad smile and nodded her head to the corner of the living room where a black ball of fur was curled up. Alec resisted the urge to sigh as he made his way across the room. Jia hadn’t been overexaggerating about his partner’s mental condition. Magnus’ coat was much duller than it had been the last time Alec had seen him (and that was after he’d already spent a week in captivity and they still had a madman to deal with.) Outside of one ear flicking in the direction of the door, he didn’t even twitch at Alec’s entrance. 

 

“I’ve been discharged,” he explained, trying to keep his voice light as he knelt down in front of the wolf, scratching behind Magnus’ ears without a second thought. “I’m on medical leave for the next few weeks. So are you. Let’s get out of here and go home. Dr. Mulder said she doesn’t want to see me around these parts for at least a month and if anyone here scares me into behaving myself, it’s her.”

 

He knew that to Magnus, this was home. The Institute’s wolves both lived and worked here. They may have had lives and apartments and jobs before they announced what they were but once the world knew, their very realities changed. Since Magnus had been bitten, he hadn’t really known a home. He’d had a life with the woman who had forced the change on him at his father’s command but Alec knew there was no way that Magnus saw that as a home any longer. He’d run for some time, sleeping in alleys, and forests and God knows where else before Luke had found him. The Alpha had invited him into his own home and helped him heal but Magnus had told Alec once that he’d only ever felt like he was intruding on someone else’s life. 

 

It was unlikely that Magnus saw Alec’s home as his own, or at least one that welcomed him with open arms the same way it did for Jace and Isabelle. The wolf had only spent one day there and had been mostly delirious during his visit but ever since Magnus had left, Alec couldn’t stop his mind from wandering — he pictured how Magus would look curled up in the bay window with a book in one hand and a steaming cup of coffee in the other. He wanted to come home after a busy day and be greeted at the door by golden eyes and a smile that had already worked its way into Alec’s heart. He wanted the Loft to feel like home to the werewolf, and he wanted him to feel comfortable and safe enough to begin to heal.

 

Magnus’ ear twitched again and Alec could only imagine what was going on in his head. “We’re going to the Loft, Mags. Just you and me, come on.”

 

“Was that approved?” He heard Raphael ask from the other room and Alec knew that he was just concerned about one of his own. They didn’t know that Jia was working with Luke to change the policies. It was something they were keeping rather hush-hush until everything was finalized so there was no chance of anyone trying to push back.

 

“By Jia just now. I know it’s not the normal protocol but unusual circumstances call for unusual measures,” he replied, pushing himself back to his feet with a grunt of pain. That sound seemed to pull Magnus from his haze as his partner jumped to his paws to help steady him. He felt instant relief at the brief flicker he got of Magnus being his old self but he knew it was still too soon for celebration. “Thanks,” he said, wanting to acknowledge the help without making too big of a deal about it. “It turns out getting shot and then impaled isn’t exactly good for the muscles.” He winked at Raphael and Cat as they watched their interaction. “What do you say about Thai for dinner? I don’t know about you but I’ve been eating cafeteria food for almost two weeks and I would trade my brother for some Drunken Noodles right about now.”

 

He started walking toward the door and was pleased that Magnus followed, even if he did so a little stiffly. “Lightwood,” Catarina called as they reached the door and Alec turned toward her. “You’ll call us if you need anything?” She asked, and he couldn’t ignore the worry in her voice. He knew what she was offering, however. If something happened with Magnus while in this form that Alec couldn’t handle, she and Raphael wanted to be there to offer their assistance before things got out of hand. 

 

“Of course,” he replied softly with an expression he hoped let her know that he understood. “You’ll be the first person that I call.”

 

“Everyone else is trying to be gentle about it but you need to know the truth. He needs to shift back. The longer he stays in this form, the more he loses himself. Luke’s been patient with him but if he doesn’t shift back, and soon, he’ll have to force it on him,” Raphael said before he reached the door. Alec paused and turned as Magnus slunk closer to the ground. “We care about him. We don’t want to lose him and we’ll do what we need to do to make that happen. We all understand that he’s going through a lot but he’s wasting away by letting it consume him.”

 

“I understand,” Alec answered softly, trying not to let his panic at that statement make itself known in a room with three werewolves. He hadn’t realized the situation was so desperate, now he knew and he also understood why everyone had been keeping it from him. “I’ll keep you updated but I think we’ll manage.”

 

Magnus needed to shift back. Alec couldn’t lose him. Not now.

 

He led Magnus through the hallways down to the parking garage. He’d considered having a driver drop them off at his place since he was certainly not in the best shape to be driving through the streets of New York City but his instincts told him that Magnus wouldn’t appreciate being around a stranger right now and he didn’t want to further upset him. “I hope you don’t mind taking a convertible,” he said as they arrived at Jace’s baby blue monstrosity. He’d stopped to ask him for his keys on the way to pick up Magnus. “But my siblings took my Discovery back home and I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough of the Institute for the time being. I think the Charger can stay here. Sorry about the color though. What can I say — Jace has poor taste in everything but Clary.”

 

He went around to the passenger side and opened the door so that Magnus could hop in. Jace’s car was a vintage Karmann Gia that he’d fitted with a modern-day Porsche engine. Alec still didn’t understand why he hadn’t chosen something more practical as his daily driver but like most things related to his brother, Jace would continue to be a mystery even to him. The frame creaked as Magnus climbed in and his partner froze. “You’re fine, Magnus. They don’t make them like this anymore. I promise you aren’t going to break it. Jace has done a lot worse to this thing, I assure you,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “And trust me, you don’t want to know. I wish I didn’t know. What I saw still gives me nightmares.”

 

Once Magnus was settled, Alec climbed into the driver’s seat and started the car. He backed out slowly and nodded at the security guard as they were buzzed out of the gate. Jia was true to her word and had called down to let the gate know they weren’t to be stopped and questioned about the unusual situation on their way out. “I know you weren’t really coherent for most of the trip to my place last time. It’s not a far drive, I promise, but I can’t do anything about good old New York traffic, unfortunately.”

 

The ride to the Loft was silent but Alec had expected that with Magnus in his wolf form and obviously upset. Secretly, he’d been hoping that with the top down in the convertible and the fresh air (well, as fresh as you could get in New York City) blowing through his fur, Magnus would perk up the slightest bit. He parked in the underground garage and locked the car before leading Magnus to the elevator which, thankfully, was already waiting for them. He punched the button to his floor and crossed his fingers that no one else would join them for the ride. He could only imagine what Magnus’ reaction to being in a small metal box with a stranger would be right now. 

 

When they reached his floor, Alec unlocked his front door and held it open for Magnus. His partner hesitated in the entryway and watched as Alec threw his keys in the bowl by the door and hung up his jacket. “I know you’ve been here before but it might look a little bit different when viewing it from that angle so let me call in our dinner order and then I’ll give you the official tour. Make yourself comfortable in the meantime. My home is your home.”

 

He left Magnus in the living room and walked into the kitchen, rifling through the drawer until he found the take-out menu that he was looking for. He set it on the counter and grabbed his phone, dialing the number almost by heart. When the restaurant answered, he placed an order — double his normal, Magnus’ favorites (courtesy of a thoughtful text from Caterina) and an assortment of other dishes knowing that they’d be staying in for the foreseeable future. Once that was done, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to get his thoughts together before he went back into the room with Magnus.

 

He really had no idea what he’d gotten himself into. Luke had tried to warn him but he hadn’t fully understood the magnitude of the situation until he’d seen it with his own two eyes. Magnus was hurting so, so badly and Alec had no idea how he was going to help him. All he could do was take care of his partner the same way he’d take care of Jace or Izzy if they were upset — be there for him, take care of him, and let him work through his emotions and fears in his own time. 

 

He filled a bowl with water in case Magnus was thirsty but not up for shifting before he padded back into the room. His partner was lying in front of the couch with his head on his paws. He flicked an ear in Alec’s direction when he entered. He set the bowl down by the end table, setting it in a place he knew he wouldn’t accidentally step on before he took a seat on the couch and patted the cushion next to him. “Why don’t you come up here? I’m sure it’s a lot more comfortable than the floor. We can watch shitty reality television while we wait for the food to get here. It shouldn’t be too long.”

 

Magnus didn’t look like he planned on moving and Alec had to bite back a sigh. “Please, Magnus. For me? I’ve spent nearly two weeks in the infirmary and I don’t really want to be alone right now.” That admission seemed to do the trick — Magnus pushed himself to his paws slowly and climbed up onto the couch. He took a minute to position himself before he lay down, pressing his body against Alec’s leg. He grinned and scratched behind his partner’s ears. “See? That’s much better, isn’t it?”

 

He grabbed the remote for the TV and started to flip through the channels. “What are you feeling tonight? Real Housewives? The Bachelor?” Magnus huffed in response and Alec laughed. “Yeah, I’m not feeling it either. What about Project Runway?” This time, he got a sneeze as an answer. “Project Runway it is,” he said as he leaned back and settled in to wait for dinner. 

 

A few hours later, with their meal now out of the way (and watching a wolf scarf down a family-sized order of Pad Thai is something that Alec will remember for a very long time,) the events of the day finally caught up with him and he was very quickly reminded that he was still recovering. “Alright — bedtime, I think. I’m exhausted and I’m sure you are too. You planning on sleeping like that?” He asked, even though he was fairly certain the answer was yes. Magnus dipped his head in acknowledgment. “Okay. The spare room is all yours unless you’d prefer the couch. It’s up to you. Do you need any blankets or pillows?” Magnus huffed. “Alright, I get it. Pretty stupid question, I’m sure. Good night, Magnus. I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

 

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Alec wasn’t sure what ended up waking him up in the middle of the night but the moment he opened his eyes, he could tell that something was wrong. He clicked on the light and instantly reached for the gun he kept in his bedside table. He climbed out of bed, trying to keep from making a noise in case there was an intruder outside his door. He held his weapon steady and he creeped across the room and slowly opened his bedroom door.

 

The rest of the Loft was dark but Alec’s attention was immediately drawn to where Magnus was curled up at the end of the couches whimpering. His heart broke at the sight and he could only imagine the nightmare that his partner was having. He scanned the room for any threats before he set his gun aside and made his way to the couch. “Mags, hey. Wake up. It’s just me. You’re having a nightmare. You’re safe — it’s just us and we alone in the Loft.”

 

He didn’t want to startle Magnus awake by shaking him awake and possibly finding himself on the receiving end of teeth and claws. He continued to talk softly until his partner opened his eyes. Even awake, Magnus continued to tremble, so Alec sat down next to him and pulled him close. “Hey, it’s alright. I’m here. Everything is going to be alright. You’ve got nothing to worry about, okay?”

 

Alec held Magnus until he stopped trembling. “Better?” He asked, not expecting any form of answer from the wolf. He pushed himself up from the couch, feeling Magnus’ eyes on him. “How about you share my bed?” He offered, wanting to do anything to put his partner more at ease and make him feel safe once more. “I don’t exactly want to be alone either and I think we’ll both sleep better that way.” He turned back toward his bedroom and paused in the doorway. Magnus hesitated for only a moment before he hopped off the couch and followed with his tail between his legs. 

 

Back in his room, Alec climbed into bed and scooted to the right, giving Magnus plenty of room to make himself comfortable. He patted the bed next to him. “Come on, it’s alright. I promise.” Magnus put his front paws on the edge and climbed in slowly. The springs in Alec’s mattress creaked at the additional weight. Once his partner settled (curled up in a ball once again with his back against Alec’s side,) he reached over and shut off the light, throwing the room into darkness once again.

 

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It took a week before anything changed. It was one week of Alec trying to support Magnus in any way that he could while trying to coax him back into a human form and secretly texting both Luke and Catarina updates before Alec woke up to an empty bed and tried not to immediately start panicking. Magnus had taken to sharing his bed with him since that first night — either pressed against Alec’s side or curled up at the foot. Alec had quickly grown used to Magnus’ presence next to him so waking up entirely alone (and a little bit cold) had his heart racing.

 

“Magnus?” He called as he pushed himself out of bed and padded out of the room. “You there?”

 

Whatever he’d expected to find, it certainly wasn’t Magnus, now in human form (admittedly naked and wrapped in a blanket), curled up at the end of the couch silently sobbing. Alec was conflicted at the sight — the fact that his partner had finally shifted back to his natural state had him elated but watching the other man cry and tremble broke his heart. “Hey,” he said softly, lowering his voice as he took a seat next to Magnus and pulled him into a hug. “What’s wrong? Talk to me.”

 

Magnus said nothing for a long moment. Alec didn’t press further — knowing that his partner would speak up when he was ready. “I can still taste his blood in my mouth,” he finally whispered almost too quietly for Alec to hear. “I’m finally the monster my father always wanted me to be.”

 

Between his own recovery and all the paperwork he’d been filling out over the last couple of weeks, Alec hadn’t stopped to think much about how the events of that day would have affected Magnus. Not only had his partner spent time in captivity while Alec was desperately trying to find him, he’d been forced to become the beast that he was so afraidof becoming to save Alec’s life. Now that Magnus was speaking, he could tell exactly what had been plaguing his partner since they brought an end to Valentine’s madness. Magnus must have been terrified that his pack, the Institute, and Alec would think less of him now that he’d ripped a man’s throat out with nothing more than his teeth.

 

“Hey,” he said softly, pulling back and catching Magnus’ chin with his hand, making sure his partner was truly looking at him before he continued speaking. “You are the farthest thing from a monster. You did what you had to do to stop a madman from unleashing a demon. You saved my life, Magnus. Hell, you probably saved the world. All you did was use your gift. There’s nothing wrong with that. Do you think any less of me when I use my gun or my bow? Did shooting Valentine’s guards back at the farm turn me into a villain?”

 

Magnus shook his head. “That’s different. You didn’t become a beast.”

 

“And neither did you, Magnus. You’re still human. Just because you can turn into a wolf every now and then doesn’t change anything about that.”

 

This time, Magnus didn’t try to argue with him. Instead, he leaned his forehead against Alec’s chest. “We’ve all been worried about you. Me, my siblings, your pack…even Raphael,” he continued, hoping that mentioning their perpetually grumpy coworker would bring a smile to his partner’s face. “I think I even saw a hint of emotion.”

 

Magnus snorted. “I don’t believe you. Raphael would never let someone see him showing human emotions.”

 

“So Raphael is human but you’re not?” Alec asked casually.

 

“Raphael didn’t tear out a man’s jugular.”

 

“But I bet he would have if he were in the situation that you were in. You did nothing wrong, Magnus. No one thinks any less of you. In fact, most people think you’re a hero. While we’ve been incapacitated, Jace, Iz, and Luke have been doing the press conferences. They’ve been singing your praises and the media wants to meet you and you’re the talk of the Institute — everyone wants to say their congratulations,” Alec replied. “Catarina wants to throw you a party.”

 

“She plans terrible parties,” Magnus answered and Alec could tell that his partner was quickly calming down. 

 

“You’re the self-proclaimed party planning expert…and we have the next few weeks off. What do you say to throwing a ‘We Saved the World and Survived’ party? We can keep it small — us and our friends but I think we can both use the distraction. If I stare at another after-action report, I just might explode.”

 

With the mention of paperwork, Magnus groaned loudly. “Don’t remind me. Do you think if I continue to ignore my own work, it will just magically disappear?”

 

“Wishful thinking,” Alec replied with a snort. “But if you agree to let Luke come over and look you over since you haven’t seen a doctor since we got back, I’ll help you start filing yours out. With the two of us, I’m sure we’ll get it done in no time and we can finally put this thing behind us.”

 

“You are a god among men, Alexander Lightwood. What did I do to deserve you?”

 

Alec could only roll his eyes as he reached for his phone on the table and opened it to call Luke before Magnus could change his mind. “Apparently annoyed everyone else that they tried to partner you with until I was the last option. Hodge may have screwed us over in more ways than one, but at least he gave us this.”

 

“I didn’t exactly plan this well,” Alec admitted as a thought crossed his mind and he tried not to wince. “Which, admittedly, is out of the ordinary for me. I don’t have any of your clothes here. How about I lend you something of mine and we’ll ask Cat to pack you a bag. Luke can bring it with him when he comes.”

 

“Please. Luke has seen my naked ass far more than he probably wants to admit.” Magnus paused before narrowing his eyes playfully. “Though it is a rather remarkable work of art if I do say so myself.”

 

Alec felt his cheeks redden at Magnus’ words though he couldn’t deny that he was right (he’d spent far too much time looking at that ass over the past few weeks, something his siblings would tease him shamelessly for if they had ever noticed.) He quickly stood up and left Magnus in the living room before stepping back into his bedroom and rifling through a few drawers. He came up with an old baseball t-shirt that he’d accidentally shrunk in the wash and a pair of sweatpants. “Here you go,” he said, holding the clothes out to Magnus. “There’s a towel and toiletries in the guest bathroom if you want to take a shower. I’m going to get dressed, call Luke, and get some breakfast started. Pancakes sound good to you?”

 

“If you can find some chocolate chips to add, I would kiss you. I’ve been dying for something sweet,” Magnus replied dramatically, getting another eye roll out of Alec. “What? A man cannot live on takeout alone, Alexander. You’ve got a rather fantastic kitchen if I do say so myself and thus far all I’ve seen you use it for is coffee and a secret stash of cookies you like to pretend that you don’t have.”

 

“You’d hide your cookies too if you saw the way Jace snacks,” Alec muttered. “I swear sometimes his only purpose in life is to reenact the Very Hungry Caterpillar…though there’d be no beautiful butterfly at the end for him — maybe he’d turn into one of those horribly ugly sunfish. If I remember correctly, their only purpose in life is to eat too. As for the chocolate chips, I think I can manage that. Now go. I’m sure Luke will be rushing over here the minute I give him a call. He’s been worried sick about you.”

 

Magnus gave him a shy smile and a nod before disappearing into the guest bedroom to shower and change. Alec headed back into his bedroom to get dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a plain black t-shirt — comfortable and soft on his still-healing body. He waited until he heard the water start running in the other room, having learned just how keen a werewolf’s sense of hearing was over the last few weeks before he hit dial. “Alec, please tell me you have good news and you’re not calling me because we need a clean-up crew,” Luke said without greeting as soon as he picked up.

 

“Relax, it is good news. He shifted back today. He’s taking a shower now but he agreed to let you come over and look him over.”

 

“Thank fuck,” Luke muttered, and Alec could hear him shuffling some papers around on his desk and grabbing his keys. “I’m on my way over now. We were just a few days away from me staring his stubborn ass in the eye and forcing him to get it over with.”

 

“I know,” Alec’s voice was quiet because he was well aware of what the Alpha was insinuating. Luke didn’t want to force Magnus to shift after everything he’d already been through but none of them refused to let him lose himself to his more feral instincts. If that was the only course of action to help Magnus, Alec wouldn’t have stood in Luke’s way. “I do have a favor to ask of you, however. I blame the injury and the medication they had me on, but I forgot to grab Magnus a bag before I brought him over here. Can you swing by the Den and have Cat pack some stuff up for him?” he said, hoping that Luke hadn’t made it too far already. 

 

“Of course. Do you need anything else from here while I’m playing delivery wolf?”

 

“I think I’m good. I’m going to go make us some breakfast but I’ll see you when you get here, Luke.”  

 

The shower was still running when Alec ended the call, so he headed into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. That done, he began to rummage around in the pantry, taking out the ingredients he’d need for pancakes including the requested chocolate chips. Once he had everything on the counter in front of him, he got to work, humming to himself as he mixed everything together. He was just pouring the batter into the pan when the water finally shut off and Magnus joined him in the kitchen a few minutes later.

 

“Hungry Like the Wolf, Alexander? A bit on the nose, don’t you think? Or on the snout, I suppose,” Magnus asked with a raised eyebrow. His hair was still damp and messy and his face and hair were devoid of any makeup or color. His borrowed clothes were far too baggy on him but they didn’t seem out of place. He looked soft and comfortable and Alec found that this was a side of Magnus that he was really starting to cherish. This stripped-down and honest version of the wolf was something he felt few people got to see. There was no armor, no misdirection — what he saw here was the true Magnus under all the glitz and glamor and he was just thrilled he got the honor of seeing it.

 

He could feel a blush rise to his cheeks. “It seemed fitting and don’t tease me or I’ll eat all these by myself and I won’t share a single one with you” Alec mumbled as he flipped the pancakes in front of him, trying to focus anywhere but on Magnus. “And in my defense, you have been a very hungry wolf for the last week. I think the Thai restaurant down the street is going to mourn the loss of the triple portion purchases I’ve been making. I’m sure they thought I was ordering for a small family or something.”

 

Magnus’ expression changed instantly. “I haven’t said thank you…so thank you for taking care of me. You could have left me at the Institute for the pack to deal with. You didn’t have to get special permission for me to leave and let me into your home. You didn’t —”

 

“Stop, Magnus,” Alec said, cutting Magnus off before he could continue to apologize. “Of course, I wasn’t going to leave you there. You’re family now and family looks out for each other. You were hurting and I wanted to be there for you. Besides, I can’t say I did it entirely selflessly. I needed you too — I don’t want to be alone right now either.”

 

He handed a plate stacked with pancakes to Magnus and pointed toward the table. “And you’re welcome to stay as long as you like before you start spouting nonsense about getting out of my hair. I promise you aren’t in my way and I genuinely like having you here. It’s nice not sitting alone in an empty house,” he explained, as he poured two cups of coffee and set them on the table. He grabbed his own plate of pancakes and forks for them both before he took a seat.

 

“Regardless, you didn’t have to but you did. You didn’t have to lie to people and come to rescue me, but you did. I…I haven’t had a lot of people in my life who would do that for me,” Magnus whispered, keeping his eyes focused on the plate instead of on Alec. 

 

“Magnus, I’ll say it as many times as you need to hear it. You are family. Not coming to rescue you was never an option. Even if they had forbidden me from coming, I would have defied orders and come for you anyway and if something had happened to me that left me unable to come on for you, Jace and Izzy would have taken my place with a vengeance. We don’t leave family behind.”

 

He could tell there was more that Magnus wanted to say, hell, there was more that he wanted to say but he knew that right now was neither the time nor place for that conversation. Magnus had just recently shifted back, there was still trauma fresh on his mind and it would take some time before he came to terms with it. Alec was trying to think of a way to change the conversation into something more light-hearted when a knock sounded from his front door. Saved by the bell, Alec thought to himself. Well, the wolf, rather.

 

“You stay there and keep eating. I have a sinking suspicion you weren’t eating nearly enough when I was in the Infirmary and despite all the takeout we’ve eaten over the past week, I still don’t think you were getting enough nutrients. You’ve got a lot of catching up to do,” Alec ordered, putting his own plate in the sink as he passed by. “And if I need to make more pancakes, I will, and before you start to argue with me, no, it’s not a hassle. You are never a hassle.”

 

He opened the door to Luke who appeared to be holding more than Magnus’ packed bag. “I brought you some groceries,” the werewolf said, handing a duffle bag to Alec as he stepped into the Loft. “As well as Magnus’ clothes. I know you’ve been managing for the last week on takeout but I realized that you probably didn’t quite realize the metabolism a wolf has, especially a recently injured one that’s still recovering, and I didn’t want him to eat you out of house and home. The Institute is more than willing to provide whatever is necessary to get the two of you back on your feet so I went a little crazy.”

 

Alec dropped Magnus’ duffel on the couch and took the armful of grocery bags from the Alpha. “Did you rob a grocery store? Will we hear about your heist on the six o’clock news?” Alec asked. 

 

“No, Jia gave me the company card. If the Institute is paying, there’s absolutely no excuse to not splurge a little bit.” His face fell slightly and the mood instantly sombered. “How is he?” Luke asked quietly, turning his head back toward the door to try and keep his voice from reaching Magnus’ ears. 

 

“Physically fine, I think. I didn’t see any festering wounds or injuries that he was hiding but mentally… I think it’s going to be a while. He has nightmares. We both do. After what we went through, I’d be more surprised if we didn’t…we’ll get through it though. We’ve got support behind us and we’ve got each other. I can’t ask for anything else,” Alec answered, nodding his head toward the kitchen. “He’s still eating but I’ll put these down and then give you two some privacy. I need to call Jace and Izzy and check in with them anyway.”

 

He led the way to the kitchen and set the bags on the counter. “Luke’s here and he came bearing gifts. He wants to talk to you but he can probably do that while you finish breakfast. I mean it, Magnus. Keep eating. I know you’re still hungry,” Alec said, shooting Magnus a look that said there was no room to argue. “I’ll be right outside if you need me. I’m going to make sure my siblings haven’t gotten arrested or something of the sort while I’ve been taking a sabbatical.”